tell your sister to shave her snatch
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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