Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize