I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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