like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
