Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
