Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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