your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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