u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
