just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Congratulations! We have a period
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
