that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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