You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
