My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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