Your face is a jimmy john
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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