But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think my fart just growled at me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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