Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
