hotel room ftw
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
