so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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