As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
