My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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