I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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