When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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