He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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