Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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