Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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