bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
