I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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