cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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