and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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