Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
