Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
