So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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