porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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