I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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