i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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