Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we made out on top of his cat.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I need a beard to bite.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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