Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
