How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
