nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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