Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
