so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
