So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
