Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
