just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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