if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
