Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Dicks are not precious.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
