You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
