yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
