she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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