When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize