omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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