She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize