based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
