12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
