It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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