I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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