someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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