Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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