Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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