There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
In America we eat man semen.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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