I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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