She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
