Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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