Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
