My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
