Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize