I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
