So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
