So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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