Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
