i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
