ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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