Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
