so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
