it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
