honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
