And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
