I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just forgot I was standing up.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
