I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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