I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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